Sex, Leadership & Your Child's Faith
"Everywhere. Simply everywhere."
That quote came from the President of the United States.
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Disney has been actively advancing an LGBT agenda along with a promise to have 50% of their leads be those of underrepresented communities. The upcoming animated movie "Lightyear" is going to have a lesbian kiss. Not that that is anything new concerning television and movie programming, in general. But we are seeing more of it specifically targeted to our children's shows and movies.
How many times in recent years have we had to avoid or explain away a scene in a movie or TV show we thought would be safe for our children? I mean, even Blue's Clues had a "Drag Queen" parade during Pride Month last year.
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We are discovering that our schools are teaching children about sexuality without parents' knowledge or permission and training them to hide those conversations from their parents. Even when they are done with parents permission, it is often organizations affiliated with Planned Parenthood that are doing the teaching. Some states currently have a requirement for LGBTQ-inclusive sex education, while others are required to have information on sexual orientation and gender identity available.
Many states bypass parents, in part, or entirely, as it pertains to obtaining an abortion.
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How did we get here? What will be the profound effects of this "brave new world" on our children growing up in this increasingly secular and sexualized culture? And most importantly, how do we protect our and our children's faith from the challenges of this age?
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The Importance of Leadership
In the Old Testament, God allowed the establishment of kings to lead His people (1 Samuel 8). However, the establishment of an earthly king would forever tie the faithfulness of the nation of Israel, as a whole, to the kingship of the land. This is why God desired kings chosen by Him that would honor Him above all else (Deuteronomy 17:14-20).
However, the history of Israel (both the northern and southern kingdoms) are riddled with mostly faithless kings that lead their society astray. A reading through the books of 1 & 2 Kings and the book of 2 Chronicles shows the summary of the accomplishments of the kings of Israel and Judah, at the beginning and end of the reigns. Of most importance to God was whether the king was good or evil, whether they walked in the ways of the Lord or of the ways of the culture, serving other gods. As the kings went, so too did the society around them.
The same is true today.
Leadership is important. It transforms the mores of society. It has the ability to make the culture believe that drawing closer to God is more desirable through their faithfulness and influence. Conversely, it also has the ability to make acceptable among the populace that which is forbidden in the Word of God, bringing with it a pressure to conform that comes from the influence of popularity and earthly power.
Currently, our culture is directed in three spheres of influence represented by the quotes above: leadership, entertainment and public education. All of these are moving in the same direction, decidedly against the Word of God and obedience to Jesus.
The Changing Cultural Norms
It seems like a million years ago, but there was a time when being sexually loose or gay was considered outside the cultural accepted norm. But ever since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the established sexual mores of our society have been continually challenged in these three important spheres of influence.
Leadership provides a way to introduce & adopt new standards. Entertainment provides the mechanism to push those societal boundaries and bring tolerance & acceptance to the new standards. Public education provides the means to normalize and promote these new standards to the next generation.
It is important to briefly document some of these landmark shifts in these three areas to fully understand how we have arrived at this cultural moment.
A Sacrifice to the Non-Fertility Gods--The Shift in Leadership
The Sexual Revolution was made possible, in large part, because of the FDA approval of the birth control pill (1960). Now women could be as cavalier as men concerning their sexual exploits without the inconvenience of a child. In 1964, President Lyndon B. Johnson gave federal support for birth control to the poor. The government's approval of the birth control pill sparked widespread sales across the United States. Mostly, these sales were limited to married couples with many states still having laws preventing unmarried women access to the pill. However, this would be short lived as the Supreme Court struck down laws pertaining to unmarried women concerning access to the birth control pill in 1972. These same courts would find a constitutional right to abortion a year later in the infamous "Roe v. Wade" decision (1973). A few years before, "No Fault Divorce" began to filter its way through the states beginning in 1969 in California and accepted in 45 states a mere five years later. These actions sanctioned by the government set up the foundation for the cultural shift our country is now facing.
All of these "advances" have, in my opinion, a sick relation to the gods Baal, Ashtoreth and Molech described in the Old Testament. These gods were gods of fertility and child sacrifice for the purpose of the thriving of the pagan cultures, both economically and in conquest. As such, God forbade the Israelites to adopt their practices or worship their gods calling their practices detestable and worthy of judgment (Lev. 20:1-5; Num. 25:1-9; Deut. 8:10-20, 11:16-21; 13:1-18; 29:19-28; Judges 2:11-15; Jer. 32:30-35). In the same way, the current foundation of our country's sexual ethic is predicated on the false idea that preventing women the ability to bear children would lead to a more prosperous and fulfilling life: individually, within the family and within the larger country. Instead, it has produced less commitment, less happiness and more poverty by all who have bought into its lies.
Some will say that the sexual ethic was never so pure to begin with in the U.S. Even if true, the government's loosening of the prevailing sexual ethic through these actions offered a type of endorsement that took away the societal stigma often associated with it. This would begin to work itself out in the greater culture through the expanding entertainment industry.
Introducing Alternative Lifestyles--The Shift in Entertainment
Within the context of my lifetime, there has been a huge shift in entertainment, as it pertains to sexuality. Wholesome shows, such as the Andy Griffith Show, I Love Lucy, the Waltons and the like were already becoming a relic of the past as I was growing up. In their place, were shows that became edgier as it pertains to sexual mores.
Three's Company (1977-1984) is one of the first shows that I remember watching growing up. Though played for laughs, it was the first introduction for my young mind concerning the concepts of living together and what it meant to be gay. The very arrangement of three roommates (two women and one man) invited more overt conversations of sex and more situations that accentuated the sexual tension in these two areas (living together and homosexuality), using an exaggeration of stereotypes to make acceptable that which wouldn't have been if played straight.
Bosom Buddies (1980-1982) followed suit during this time. Two men disguise themselves as women to live in an women's only apartment complex when they lose their living arrangements. Again, as with Three's Company, the comedy of the entire sitcom is couched within the notion that things aren't what they seem, especially in regards to the two new "women" in the apartment complex. Where Jack Tripper (Three's Company) pretended to be gay, Kip & Henry pretend to be women, giving subtle introduction to both drag and gender dysphoria to young viewers, even though it was simply played for laughs.
Cheers (1982-1993) & Night Court (1984-1992) upped the ante in sexual exploitation, as characters such as, Sam Mallone (Cheers) & Dan Fielding (Night Court) had character arcs where sleeping with other women, even multiple women, was seen as part of their playboy attitude. As with the previous sitcoms, many of these encounters are played off for laughs or as an exaggerated caricature. However, in the evolution of the shows, these conversations had times of candor, representing a shift in how sex would be viewed on screen.
The Facts of Life (1979-1988) represented a larger change, as Natalie loses her virginity during the last season. The other shows mentioned were not necessarily family targeted, but they were in the prime time schedule. Conversely, The Facts of Life focused on adolescent girls. This example would open the doors to similar experiences in shows, like Doogie Howser, MD, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and many others throughout the course of the 1990s and beyond where the targets are not primarily adults, but adolescents.
What began as a government endorsement had now morphed into a cultural phenomenon in about 20 years time through the medium of entertainment. Adults and their children were now surrounded by this message that would further dominate their lives, as more and more time was spent on this electronic medium at the expense of biblical education from the Word of God.
From the Lips of Our Trusted Teachers--The Shift in Education
The information concerning our public school systems and their role in formally educating our children varies from state to state. There is a general consensus that sex education in the public schools had two events that shifted the focus on a more intentional teaching of sex on a national level. The first was the sexual revolution of the 1960s. The second was the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.
The sexual revolution of the 1960s and the changes made by the government concerning birth control caused widespread worry over the sexual habits of youth. High teen pregnancy rates among teenagers in the 1960s were mostly among the married (85%). However, the shift of focus to birth control and "safe sex" methods began to see this demographic shift more to the unwed.
In the 1980s, the AIDS epidemic brought to light the consequences of unprotected sex, especially among the homosexual community. Surgeon General C. Everett Koop addressing the issue in 1986 proclaimed, "many people--especially our youth--are not receiving information that is vital to their future health and well being because of our reticence in dealing with the subjects of sex, sexual practices and homosexuality. The silence must end. We can no longer afford to sidestep frank, open discussions about sexual practices--homosexual and heterosexual."
In both cases, public education was seen as the key to help stop these crises. Even when the underlying values were conservative in nature, the public education in sex was unmoored from a biblical understanding. Relying upon solely science and logic, cases were made for comprehensive sex education to try to stem the tide of these epidemics. Even when abstinence only education ensued, it was often panned by critics who point out slightly higher rates of both STIs and teen pregnancy in those regions where this type of education was the only one available.
However, something important was lost with the shift of sex education to the public school realm. With the separation of church and state, discussion of the biblical foundation of marriage and sex was largely swept away. The belief that the school system, in general, was looking out for the best interests of their children allowed parents to take a back seat in the education of their children's understanding of sex. Many parents found it awkward to talk about it anyway.
On top of that, the biblical literacy rate among believers continued to fall among professed believers in the 1990s. This made it hard for children and youth to receive any education about sex outside of their local public schools that focused more on ways of prevention of pregnancy and disease rather than the purpose of sex for the creation of the family and intimacy within the bonds of marriage, as ordained by God (Gen. 1-2).
Further Downstream
In each of these areas (leadership, entertainment & public education) since the 1990s, the movement away from biblical norms, regarding sex, has been exponential.
Fast forward to 1999 & 2000 where President Bill Clinton declared June "Gay & Lesbian Pride Month". He was followed by President Barack Obama who declared June to be "LGBT Pride Month" every year he was office. It was during the campaign of the second of President Obama's terms that he made the historic shift in his beliefs on gay marriage. In 2015, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage throughout the United States. President Trump even acknowledged "LGBT Pride Month" through a tweet in 2019, though not in public proclamation. And now, we have President Joe Biden continuing and furthering the tradition by declaring June 2021 to be "LGBTQ+ Pride Month", as well as, issuing the quotes at the beginning of this blog.
Consider carefully how the government now makes a proclamation for an entire month for the LGBTQ+ cause, and has for the greater part of the last 14 years. Whereas, focus on fathers and mothers are rarely mentioned at all. Especially as it pertains to fathers, Father's Day is swallowed up and ignored largely by our leaders in favor of Pride celebrations that will take place throughout the month the celebration for fathers was originally intended.
Entertainment no longer lags years behind in promoting the new accepted lifestyles. With the invention of social media, many of our and our children's favorite entertainers are found not just on Disney+ or cable TV, but on YouTube and TikTok. With so many platforms, many children are exposed to views on sexuality contrary to the Bible at earlier and earlier ages, often times, well before a firm foundation of sex can be established from a biblical perspective.
It's not just TV shows, movies or online clips. Even commercials promoting products inundate our children's mind concerning things like "coming out" . We have gone from being exposed to it once in the entirety of a series run to wondering if the commercials are safe any given day. We even question whether our two year old can watch Blue's Clues without being dragged into the LGBT cross hairs.
Sex education in the public school has become more like sex saturation. Sex education in the public schools has moved beyond simple prevention, to promotion of sexual experimentation outside the bounds of their original mandate, often incorporating LGBT encouragement and instruction (in some cases, mandated to do so by the state). Curriculum in other subjects include examples of LGBT history, literature and the inclusion of same sex couples in word problems in math. Even school assemblies have brought the LGBT agenda to children there. Couple that with activist teachers, principals and administrators who focus on indoctrination through their efforts to raise awareness of LGBT issues and lifestyle, and we find little reprieve for our children & youth.
Outside of the classroom, in the halls, lunchrooms and courtyards of the schools, youth have to deal with the reality of what this indoctrination has done. Friends identify and openly question their sexuality. Classmates are seen in same sex relationships trading affections in the hallways. Girls have to endure guys who identify as such in their bathrooms, locker rooms and even sporting events. The peer pressure to conform to this "brave new world" is staggering to a young mind. Schools are being used to normalize these views and practices for the next generation.
The Effects On Your Child's Sexuality & Faith
A recent Gallup poll shows that LGBT+ identification has increased dramatically among those of younger ages. As a matter of fact, just between 2017 to 2021, LGBT identification has nearly doubled among Gen Z (from 10.5% to 20.8%), much higher than any other age range. Think about it, slightly over 1 in 5 of those who are currently 9-24 years old identify as LGBT+.
What kind of profound impact does that have on faith?
In his chapter titled "If Christianity is True, Why Do People Walk Away?", Jeff Myers writes, "Sin is a distortion of love. We sin when we love things wrongly at the wrong time in the wrong way. In a study of the faith of twentysomethings, sociologist Jeremy Uecker, Mark Regnerus, and Margaret Vaaler found that although young people can return to faith from just about every life circumstance, certain life habits--such as cohabitation, fornication (sexual intercourse outside of marriage), drug use, and alcohol abuse--all accelerate diminished religiosity. This is further evidence that our lifestyle choices affect our relationships with God." ["Understanding the Faith: A Survey of Christian Apologetics", pg. 866, emphasis mine].
If cohabitation and fornication are primary indicators of a diminished religiosity, what happens when we add sexual identity that conflicts with the biblical understanding? Will that not also increase the likelihood of the rejection of identifying with Christ in favor of this new, personal, sexual identification of self that is being foisted upon our children by our leadership, our entertainment and our public education?
Back in 2010, I wrote our elected officials in our State House and Senate concerning their consideration of making same sex marriage legal. In the letters to our representatives, I wrote that the movement of legalizing same sex marriage would eventually pit religious freedom against sexual preference. The state is making their decision. It seems we must make our decision, as well.
Preserving Faith for the Next Generation
The greatest threat to our children's faith is the lack of a truly robust Christian worldview and anything that comes against establishing such a worldview in our children. The current public school system does not foster an environment that encourages faith or is even neutral concerning faith matters. Parents should strongly consider abandoning this education model for the sake of the spiritual health of their children. The agenda of sexual orientation currently promoted by our three predominant spheres of influence (leadership, entertainment & education) demands a radical response for the preservation of faith. After all, we will eventually stand before God concerning these choices, as a parent.
However, abandonment of a model decidedly against the faith of your children isn't enough. There must be a commitment in building a robust Christian worldview in your child's life.
Earlier in this blog, I mentioned that "abstinence only" plans often resulted in slightly higher rates of both STIs and pregnancies. Even the abstinence plans in churches that undergirded their teaching with the Bible often were not as effective as we had hoped they would be. Why? Because the biblical teaching about sex was divorced from a greater understanding of faith in Christ and the Word of God, as a whole. It was subject oriented teaching to a bunch of students who themselves had no truly biblical worldview. Our children were taught the "whys" about sex from a biblical perspective, but were never taught about the "whys" of God and His Word. The latter is needed for the former to truly make any sense.
Convictions about the supremacy of Jesus in all things: type of friends our children have, the person they should marry, the importance of the church, the type of leaders we should choose, the type of entertainment we should view, the type of learning we should accept, even the type of sexual relations that honor God--only come from a decidedly Christian & biblical worldview (Col. 1:15-23). We, as parents, have been commissioned to instill that worldview in our children (Deut. 6:4-9; 11:13-21; Psalm 78:1-8; Eph. 6:4).
You may feel a little lost on where to begin, but it is important that you do. It is also why we are committed to help you do just that. The stakes for the faith of our children is too high.
God bless you parents, we are praying for you and your children.
Go to our website and contact us to see how you can get a free copy of the Discipleship Begins @ Home Blueprint that guides parents through training their children through 6 disciplines of the faith: Bible Reading, Prayer, Fellowship, Outreach/Service, Discipleship & Giving. This resource guides both the new parent through the time their child leaves for college, as well as, the family who have older children/youth who are new to the faith with a 5 year discipleship plan.
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